Sollux and Eridan's Unlucky Day
by SparksFrost
Summary: Sollux and Eridan; humans in an AU who hate each others guts. But does that stop them from making out? I don't think so.   Rated M for mild language and sexual implications.  Chapter 1 is the short version, and 2 is the extended.
1. Short Version

OK! Some background information. First off, I ship EriSol like crazy, but usually only as troll. Then why, do you ask, did I write them as humans? The answer: I'm super lazy and haven't read Homestuck in a while and don't remember a lot of the terms trolls use. ^.^ So this is an AU and it's super random and probably a one shot unless someone just desperately wants more to the story or something (which I seriously doubt). Mmm… also, don't ask me why they get angry and start making out. I know they're humans… but I mean haven't you ever been so angry with a hot somebody you just want to grab them and force yourself on them or something? That's probably just me; I know I'm a freak.

Anyway. Enjoy. Give me feedback. Advice. Tips. Something.

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><p>"Eridan, what are you doing?" Sollux muttered, scooting away from the persistent hipster. It was already 6 o'clock. Eridan had told Sollux he was only going to stop by for a little bit, but he'd already been in Sollux's apartment for half an hour.<p>

"I'm just trying to see what you're doing." Eridan replied, casually leaning closer to have a better view of Sollux's computer screen.

Sollux shifted away uncomfortably. "Why are you here again? I thought you said you wanted to ask me something about your computer. I'd appreciate it if you left. I have to meet with FF soon." He added spitefully.

Eridan stiffened and bared his teeth, grabbing Sollux's hair and pressing his lips against his ear to hiss, "You just like to rub that in, don't you, you selfish asshole."

Sollux shouldered Eridan, getting to his feet. "Oh that's fucking cute. You're jealous. You can't get anyone to stay with you, so you just feel the need to ruin FF's happiness by being overprotective and obnoxious."

Eridan growled and shoved Sollux, forcing him to stumble backwards. "Say that again, you stuck up fucking asshole. I'm a better choice than you any day. I'm amazing, rich, and fucking sexy. I also don't have a stupid lisp and social problems."

"I hate you and your pathetic self so much!" Sollux spat out. "You talk like you aren't fucking miserable, but everyone knows how worthless you are; you know it too!"

Eridan jumped on him, forcing him to the floor and trapping him down with his body. "I hate you so much fucking more. You took the most important thing in my life from me." He grabbed Sollux on either side of his face and kissed him angrily.

Sollux snarled at him and fisted his hands in Eridan's hair, pulling him closer. Their lips crashed against each other's violently, crushing and brushing. Eridan raked his fingernails down Sollux's side and he retaliated by biting Eridan's lip until his blood dribbled down his chin. Eridan shoved his tongue in Sollux's mouth and Sollux's tongue answered, twining viciously around Eridan's. Eridan let lose a low noise in his throat, somewhere between a moan and a growl and ran his hand down Sollux's chest, his nails lightly grazing. Sollux shivered under his touch, and started to rip at Eridan's clothes.

Eridan attacked Sollux's neck hungrily, showering it with bites and kisses. Sollux moaned, and finished undressing Eridan before hurriedly unbuttoning his own shirt.

Suddenly, the door swung up.

"Sollux?" Feferi stood wide eyed in the doorway, her face dark red. She swallowed.

Sollux sat up quickly, shoving Eridan away from him, scarlet. "FF! I—uh—I-I can explain!"

Eridan grabbed his clothes, covering himself. "Aww, shit, Fef!"

"I um… I better go…" Feferi stared at them a moment more before turning and running back the way she came.

"Fuck!" Eridan and Sollux exclaimed together.


	2. Extended Version

Extended Version. Turns out I decided to add a bit more too it.

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><p>"Eridan, what are you doing?" Sollux muttered, scooting away from the persistent hipster. It was already 6 o'clock. Eridan had told Sollux he was only going to stop by for a little bit, but he'd been in Sollux's apartment for half an hour.<p>

"I'm just trying to see what **you're** doing." Eridan replied, casually leaning closer to have a better view of Sollux's computer screen.

Sollux shifted away uncomfortably. "Why are you still here again? I thought you said you wanted to ask me something about your computer. I'd appreciate it if you left. I have to meet with FF soon." He added spitefully.

Eridan stiffened and bared his teeth, grabbing Sollux's hair and pressing his lips against his ear to hiss, "You just like to rub that in, don't you, you selfish asshole."

Sollux shouldered Eridan, getting to his feet. "Oh that's fucking cute. You're jealous. You can't get anyone to stay with you, so you just feel the need to ruin FF's happiness by being overprotective and obnoxious."

Eridan growled and shoved Sollux, forcing him to stumble backwards. "Say that again, you stuck up fucking asshole. I'm a better choice than you any day. I'm amazing, rich, and fucking sexy. I also don't have a stupid lisp and social problems."

"I hate you and your pathetic self so much!" Sollux spat out. "You talk like you aren't fucking miserable, but everyone knows how worthless you are; you know it too!"

Eridan jumped on him, forcing him to the floor and trapping him down with his body. "I hate you so much fucking more. You took the most important thing in my life from me." He grabbed Sollux on either side of his face and kissed him angrily.

Sollux snarled at him and fisted his hands in Eridan's hair, pulling him closer. Their lips crashed against each other's violently, crushing and brushing. Eridan raked his fingernails down Sollux's side and he retaliated by biting Eridan's lip until his blood dribbled down his chin. Eridan shoved his tongue deep in Sollux's mouth and Sollux's tongue answered, twining viciously around Eridan's. Eridan let lose a low noise in his throat, somewhere between a moan and a growl and ran his hand down Sollux's chest, his nails lightly grazing. Sollux shivered under his touch, and started to rip at Eridan's clothes.

Eridan attacked Sollux's neck hungrily, showering it with bites and kisses. Sollux moaned, and finished undressing Eridan before hurriedly unbuttoning his own shirt.

Suddenly, the door swung up.

"Sollux?" Feferi stood wide eyed in the doorway, her face dark red. She swallowed.

Sollux sat up quickly, shoving Eridan away from him, scarlet. "FF! I—uh—I-I can explain!"

Eridan grabbed his clothes, covering himself. "Aww, shit, Fef!"

"I um… I better go…" Feferi stared at them a moment more before turning and running back the way she came.

"Fuck!" Eridan and Sollux exclaimed together.

Sollux spun on Eridan accusingly. "This is all your fucking fault! If you hadn't jumped me then—"

"Oh so you're blaming **me**, huh? Typical prick." Eridan curled his lip at him, hurriedly tugging his clothes on while staring daggers at his rival. "You're just pissed because you **know** you can't resist me." He sniffed.

"Oh, is that the case? I'm sorry, I seem to have misunderstood the situation." Sollux sneered at the man as he got to his feet stiffly. "I suppose it's all **my** fault then."

"Fucking right. I'm glad you admit to it." Eridan zipped his pants and stood as well, brushing himself off smugly.

Sollux slugged him in the gut.

"F-fuck!" Eridan sputtered, curling in pain. "Cod, what the fuck was THAT for! I can crush you, and you know it you wimpy computer nerd!"

"It was for being so fucking arrogant. Because of you, I might have lost FF forever!" Sollux curled his hands. "And you can boast about being able to beat me all you want, but you'll run out of hot air eventually."

"You caught me off guard is all, asshole!" Eridan launched forward and shoved Sollux against the wall, pressing his forearm against his counterpart's throat. "Trust me, it won't happen again." He hissed.

"Won't it?" Sollux's spat on Eridan's glasses.

"Ugh! That's fuckin' disgusting!" The taller male reeled back, yanking off his glasses and grabbing one of the many articles of clothing lying around to scrub at the lens.

Sollux smiled smugly, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "You're cute when you're angry."

"Stop patronizing me!" Eridan stomped up to him, shoving his face in the Gemini's. "I swear, Sol, if you don't stop—"

"Holy shit, Eridan you have pretty eyes." Sollux leaned closer.

Eridan raised his eyebrows. "Why yes, I suppose I do. I get them from my mother's side and—HEY! Stop distracting me!" He reached back and fisted his hand in the hair at the nape of Sollux's neck. "You're playing mind games with me."

"Mm, and what beautiful toned muscles you have." Sollux lightly danced a finger along Eridan's arm.

The Aquarius smacked his hand away. "Stop it! I can't think when you do that!"

Sollux chuckled. "Isn't that the point?" He closed the small gap between them quickly, placing a light kiss on his adversary's lips.

Eridan went slack, stumbling away from the other male. Sollux instantly kicked him in the chest, and Eridan fell back on his ass, forced to stare up at the other.

"Why you—you—you conniving, conceited, corrupted, CAD!"

"Got any more "c" words in your vocabulary for me?" Sollux leaned down and caressed him under his chin. "Aw, poor baby. Do you need a Kleenex? Did I hurt your pride? You're just soooo desperate for love, it's fucking pitiable. I _almost_ feel sorry for you."

Eridan jerked his chin away. "I—I don't need your _**pity**_." He spat, quickly wiping at his eyes to hide the fact that they were watering. "Just giving me my glasses and I'll get the hell out of here. I've got better things to do than hang around a loser like you." His lip quivered slightly at the end and he covered it with a cough.

"Did I hit a sore spot?" Sollux asked, sickly sweet.

"Just shut up, Sol! Shut up!" Eridan quickly got to his feet, but teetered as the blood rushed to his head. "Damnit." He steadied himself and then glanced around for his glasses. "They fell just over…" He blinked a few times. "Can't see that far…" He paced around for a few moments, Sollux observing him. "Could you at least fucking help? I can't see three feet without those!"

Sollux shrugged. "Not my problem."

Eridan sighed angrily. "Why do you have to be such a dick! You want me gone, right? So help me find my glasses!"

"Maybe I'm enjoying the view of your choice ass as you bend over to look." Sollux said casually.

"Will you **stop** messing with me already?" Eridan growled.

"Who said I'm messing? I'm pretty damn serious."

"Just go to hell!" Eridan flipped him off.

"Is that an invitation?" The other asked snidely.

"Cod, you're impossible!"

"What can I say? I like seeing you squirm."

Eridan froze, and turned slowly to face him. "Sol… you have my glasses, don't you?"

"I might have run across them." He said, nonchalant.

"Hand them over!" Eridan grabbed Sollux's arm. The Gemini grinned and lifted both hands in surrender.

"Don't have 'em."

"Well what'd you do to them?"

"I imagine they're around."

Eridan forced him a step back. "Sol, I swear to cod you better tell me right now where you hid them or I'll—"

_Crick_

Sollux sighed and lowered his arms. "_Now_ look what you've done."

Eridan glanced down to see his glasses, lenses shattered, under his foot. "AAAAARRRGGGH! SOLLUX CAPTOR I'M GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR EYES AND FEED THEM TO FISH!"

"Wow, wow, calm down, Neptune. You can get them fixed. And **you** stepped on them, not me."

Eridan huffed, his chest swelling. "This. Is. All. Your. Fault!"

"I think this is pretty minimal compared to the fact that because of you I lost FF." Captor pointed out.

Eridan yanked on the purpled streak in his black hair. "I'm going to kill myself one day because of you."

"Oh really? Excellent! I'll live a happy life knowing I was the reason Eridan Ampora got out of everyone's life. You'll save us all the trouble of dealing with you. Please, I'm not stopping you."

"I fucking hate you." Eridan groaned, grabbing the remains of his glasses and his dignity before sauntering out of Sollux's apartment.


End file.
